As someone who often isn’t seen as indigenous, I was surprised when Jen Deerinwater contacted me to suggest I apply for Crushing Colonialism’s internship. I was beyond honored once I recovered from my disbelief of receiving the opportunity, but I was also nervous. I’d never completed an application of that nature before and with my busy schedule had to put together my resume last minute. I lucked out with having Jen to communicate with because she didn’t hesitate to remind me to send everything in and be a source of encouragement though I was still anxious.
Once I was notified that I received the internship I was beyond thrilled, though still anxious (as you can tell my anxiety is always pretty present). Unfortunately there were quite a few hurdles that awaited me, including family illness, a family death, school stress, and the famed tech and internet issues that just seem to be a given when you work a remote gig. However, I got it done. And that in itself is something I will always be proud of.
I’ve always been a person with things to say while struggling to find a way to say them. I’m also a perfectionist who deals with procrastination as a result of waiting for the right time. One of the most important things I learned during this internship is that there is no such thing as “the right time”. There is a such thing as an outline and a draft, followed by edits. I’m still insecure about my ability to fully convey the things I’d like to express, but despite the many mental roadblocks I faced, ultimately can say I loved the challenge.
Another thing I enjoyed is the researching - especially using lesser known resources to find information or seeing the “random” knowledge I’ve collected over the years written or documented. I look forward to improving my speed in my writing and processing of information, along with finding ways to avoid delays due to health flares. One of which being writing my task list down on paper for easy viewing in addition to my digital notes and learning to communicate more openly despite certain fears I may have. It’s better to be upfront and health isn’t something we can truly control.
I wish I had been able to get more social media post in and create a few more memes and that my health could have cooperated more so I could have done more in general and absorbed more. However, I enjoyed the content curation I partook in and I’ve learned to proofread, fact check, and trust my gut more when sharing news and that is an absolutely invaluable skill for me as a marketer and artist.
I’ve also gained more security in my identity as a multiply minoritized person -especially within my indigenous heritage. And I’m so happy I had the chance to share information about free people of color as it ties quite literally to my existence. I learned that while my fears regarding my future career are valid, I have quite a few options as to what I can do and that while it may take some work, all the feelings, triumphs, and hurdles are instrumental to succeeding. All in all every aspect makes any victory sweeter.
It was an honor to be Crushing Colonialism’s Summer Intern of 2019 and I will miss working so closely with the organization. I sincerely hope to be back soon however and I hope you’ve enjoyed and learned from the work that I’ve done as much as I enjoyed putting my time and entire being into it.
Until next time,